Her First Kill
by Sombereyes
Summary: Blood. She could smell it. She could feel it. She could even taste a mere droplet of it in her lips. Everything was red. Everything.


**WARNING:** Really, dark, but short one-shot ahead. Read at your own risk.

 **Her First Kill**

Blood. She could smell it. She could feel it. She could even taste a mere droplet of it in her lips. Everything was red.

Everything.

Her rage, her fear, her confusion, and even her movement. There was a dead man lying under her. He was red too. Everything in that dark, terrible crimson color. Fluid so sticky and metallic smelling that it made her want to puke.

"Tenten." His voice was so soft, but her name thundered in her ears. "Tenten…breath, take a breath…"

But her body ran chillingly cold, and she couldn't. Biting down on her tongue, she gaged and gasped, trying to keep her brain from shutting down completely. Her vision growing darker by the moment.

"Tenten!"

And then she blinked…slowly, several times, over and over again. She dropped the kunai in her hands, screaming as she backed away from the carcass of her enemy. Her first kill ever. At the tender age of fifteen, Tenten had killed a man on her own, with her own two hands. Guy hadn't made the kill, it was all her, and thus, her burden to bear.

All newly promoted chunin had to do it, and when tossed into an arena with a convict sentenced to death, she had no other choice. She'd watched the others take their turns, seen them deal with their own guilt, but it seemed so small compared to her own…that was how it should feel, she thought with a sense of idle detached logic that was as fleeting as the chattering of her teeth.

She deserved to feel this way, like a piece of worthless shit, who couldn't even do one simple little thing that all ninja had to do…one simple fundamental thing, such as taking a life.

Lee was fast enough and strong enough, he merely snapped his opponent's neck and it was all over…but Tenten couldn't do that. She'd choked up, she'd froze. The convict had said something. His words got to her, rattled her, and then it broke her…and even if she knew she shouldn't have done it…she lost her cool…the sight before her was the price of that.

She wasn't the only one chomping away at the anxiety littering the air like smoke.

Guy felt his own heart breaking at the sight of his student. He wanted to help her somehow, knew he had to…but...how? There was just no way around the fragile emotions in a young shinobi's heart. Guy was always a very hands-on sort of teacher. He had refused to let his subordinate enter that ring alone, and this very reason was why…because in spite of her skill, Tenten was still a young girl…

Hardly a woman, and very barley a chunin…

He lifted the blood covered girl into his arms and left the arena a mess for the cleaning crew to deal with. In truth, she'd done very well. All of the young newly blooded shinobi had.

Ino killed her opponent with poison. Ramming the mixture down a man's gullet and setting it off inside. He died an inflated, but bloodless death. Hinata's kill was several strikes to her convict's heart. Another swift demise that left her in tears, but not caked in her sins. Then there was Sakura, one skill crushing blow was all it took.

Tenten though…she was not a master of super chakra, strength, or speed. She was a master of weaponry, but one strike turned to two, and then three…before she knew it, she sat atop a body that looked no longer human.

Guy couldn't take the haunted look in her eyes. Worried, he carried her to his home, and then set her quietly on the edge of his bathtub. His apartment was small, but it was away from prying eyes. He didn't want anyone seeking her like this. He was sure that he was not the only teacher coddling a wayward student right now. He knew from experience that this batch of souls were softhearted people.

He turned on the bath, and looked at her, speaking very softly. "You need to wash all that blood off of you."

"I killed the man." Her words were distant murmurs so unlike herself. "I did it, he's dead…" Clear and positive in her horror.

"Y-Yes…" He found his mouth dry. It was hard to speak. "You did very well." In truth, she had, more or less.

"You probably hate me now..."

"No." He said very quietly, a roughness in his voice. "Tenten, I don't hate you."

"I hate me." She hissed looking away from him.

He swallowed hard. "I know." He hated himself too. He always did after taking someone's life. "I'm going to go get you a towel and something else to wear. You get in the bath and draw the curtains closed."

Afraid to leave her alone too long, he left to go gather what he needed, and to go change himself. After shucking off his own uniform, he slipped on a pair of plaid pajamas. He then collected a large bath towel and a pair of sleeping garments for her. They'd be too big for her, but he couldn't have her wearing that uniform. It was too disgustingly bloody, even for him. It was only after he heard metal sliding against metal that he walked back into the bathroom, items in hand, placing them on the edge of the counter.

Blooding the youngsters was unavoidable, this he knew. Their first kills shouldn't be made in the danger of the forests, or away on missions. He had endeavored to keep them all safe from that, landing finishing blows during missions if he had to. Being a chunin though, meant being an adult able to lead a team. It meant protecting the lives of your team, and sometimes taking the life of another.

As a jonin, Guy had endeavored to take on genin to protect them, to teach them, and to hone them into exemplary ninja that would one day do the same.

Tenten, however, remained his main concern. Neji, when he had been promoted to Jonin, he acted with the rationality expected of any ninja. Lee, though a fresh chunin, would understand the weight of his choice. He would cry a bit, and let it go…Tenten, however….she was the wild card. This moment would shape her choices in the future, and her fighting spirit. All of those 'power of youth' speeches he gave had proper meaning, deep ones.

He wondered if they would stick in her mind now. After all, chunin or not, she was still just a young girl a few years from her fighting prime.

"I'll be just outside." He said, walking out of the bathroom, but staying near enough to her in case she might need him. Hours passed, the bath had probably run cold by the time she stepped out of it, skin raw from all of her scrubbing. His pajamas dwarfed her, but at least they were clean, and they were warm.

"Sensei…" Her voice was still so empty…so weak.

Guy shook his head as he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her carefully into his arms as he placed her into his bed. "Don't try to hide your emotion." He murmured. "No one expects you to become a heartless Shinobi. You have the right to mourn for any perceived crime you think you've committed…but know in your heart that you haven't…and that you've done well."

"I don't want to be alone…" Her voice shook, true terror that would easily slip into her dreams.

"Then you won't be." Having long since prepared himself for this vigil, he grabbed a pillow and leaned it against his back, propping himself upright against the wall. It was the same basic pose he took while on missions to keep watch. Though the room was dark as could be, safe and sound, and element free, he knew that this mission was one of the most important ones he'd ever accepted…his one final act as a teacher to his precious student…

To endure this impossibly trying time, and to see that she made a full recovery, so that she could stand to fight once more…after this crucible, she would one day be able to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. Just like Neji, just like Lee…and just like every other comrade he had ever considered family.


End file.
